There is a deeper world than this
That you don’t understand
There is a deeper world than this
Tugging at your hand
~ Sting, Love is the Seventh Wave
Besides what we hear about the 1% and the increasing disparity between the rich and poor, there is a growing epidemic of another kind of poverty that has nothing to do with the amount of money in a bank account: a lack of connection to ourselves, each other, the world around us, and something greater that holds it all together.
I’ve been noticing a trend in my clients lately, many considered millennials or “digital natives” (essentially those who have never lived during a time without PCs, texting and social media), who are rife with angst and a level of discontent and self-doubt usually reserved for those in the midst of a midlife crisis, empty-nest syndrome, or more dire circumstances.
And it’s not just young people who are dealing with this; it simply shows up in a more pronounced way. On the surface they seem to have everything going for them — they are highly educated and have decent first or second jobs, they have good health and no major responsibilities like kids or a mortgage — but somehow they feel they haven’t achieved enough, they are bored or are missing something but can’t quite put their finger on it. In older folks it comes through as unspecified anxiety, career or relationship frustration, mental scatteredness or erratic communication, an inability to sit still or relax deeply, or a feeling of “Is this all there is?” when thinking about the rest of their life.
And no matter what your age, because of our now 24/7 and 360 degree digital lifestyle, there is severe FMO and a (mostly) subconscious habit of comparing ourselves to each other that is self-sabotaging, making us feel “less than” or deficient in some way — whether it’s about the hot boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse you’ll never attract, the dream job that alluded you, the baby you do or don’t yet have, the great vacations you can’t afford, all the amazing friends you never hang out with or “like” your Facebook posts or Instagram photos … etc. You get the #nofilter picture.
Underneath it all seems to be a deep-seated fear of the unknown and feeling of powerlessness over our lives and a world that is rapidly transforming before our eyes in ways that are not always positive or hopeful. The worry and rudderlessness is often magnified by social media and all else that is vying for our attention, time and energy.
Does any of the above sound like you? If so, take a moment to do a reality check. My guess is that you likely have what I am now dubbing “life dysmorphia” — meaning your sense of your life and how “bad” you presume it to be is either highly distorted or simply not true, and the reasons you are unhappy or stuck are not what you might think.
As in my coaching sessions, seminars and previous PGGs, my solution for this is always to GO DEEP, as technology keeps us on superficial ground. Detach from the virtual world and plunge into the depths of your own thoughts, feelings, relationships and the mysteries of the Universe.
Whether you are 25, 65 or somewhere in between — and I have worked with all ages — the antidote to this unsettled, dissatisfied existential state is to be SELF-centered in a foundation of worthiness and value; find purpose and meaning in your work; express yourself creatively; demonstrate faith and trust in yourself, the process and the Universe; and be open to giving and receiving LOVE. And stay in your own lane.
Most important, as I say in nearly all of my talks and to my clients: Get out of your head and into your body — which means operating from your gut and heart — and be grounded in who you are.
It’s about staying present and standing where your feet are at. It’s about having conversations IRL. It’s about being congenial, forming community and raising consciousness. It’s about taking the time to spend with actual people; to commune with yourself, others and the world around you. To feel alive in flesh and blood, not just in our minds projected and framed into an online existence. It’s about creating instead of consuming. It’s about remembering we are humans, not robots or avatars in a fantasy version of reality.
And cultivate relationships. Relationships to every kind of person, family or stranger, friend or lover, store clerk or sibling, and whatever you want to call that force greater than ourselves. When you go deeper into yourself and can truly relax and be present, you free up more internal space for love to flow between you and yourself or any of the people in your life, and yes, even those you just met, because we are all part of the same brother/sister/gender-neutral ‘hood.
I’m a big hugger (see the PGG Six Seconds). I often hug people I don’t have a lot history with or even know well or at all, but if there is that spark of connection or some wavelength I click with, dig or admire in another, because I am “primed,” it allows positive energy to be exchanged through an embrace. That is real, and much, much more powerful and nourishing than a “like” on FB. Also, when the internal pipes are blocked or lie dormant, not only can your love not flow, but your creativity can’t be expressed, which is another surefire way to feel disconnected from your own vitality. So don’t be afraid to open the floodgates!
Not sure how to become less Fragile in these disorienting times? Before you send an SOS to the world, give me a buzz and I will help tear down that Fortress Around Your Heart so you can Send Your Love to yourself and others. As humans, that’s the best way We’ll Be Together, and you’ll be doing your part in creating a Brand New Day for us all!
This past June 2017 when I had someone film parts of my New Attitude Summer School series, which resulted in this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)”
In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful. Enjoy & Stay Tuned for Fall Classes!
About the Author:
Kristina Leonardi is a career/life coach and motivational speaker who has a proven record of getting “stuck” clients empowered to make lasting changes aligned with their true passions and talents in a short time. She provides a practical framework for each individual to make the most of their personal and professional lives, allowing them to recognize, connect to, and fulfill their role in the world at large and live with clarity, balance and direction. For more information visit www.kristinaleonardi.com or check out her profile on The Muse’s Coach Connect.
Click here to check out Kristina’s book of 131 “thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining essays to keep you connected to yourself and this journey called Life” Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One from Amazon.
Read more about me and my work in these essays, which I refer to as PGG’s:
If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person! Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.