New Rules
Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind. ~Douglas MacArthur
There are no rules here — we’re trying to accomplish something. ~ Thomas Alva Edison
One of my all-time favorite films is Strictly Ballroom for a variety of reasons, one of which is how the main character, a world class ballroom dancer wants to use his own steps in competition and the outrage and, ultimately, delight this causes. I’ve always loved to dance but hated formal exercise. Since I’m not out at the clubs much these days, Zumba and cardio salsa at the gym have filled the gap; but I never was into doing exactly what was presented — I generally stand in the back enjoying the music and sort of go along with the group.
I recently found a new class called Nia, which is perfect for me — it includes sections for “free dance” and encourages you to “dance it your way.” It kind of looks like hippie dancing, or what you might do if you were in your room when no one was watching; it’s a great workout that speaks to my body in a way that makes me feel good.
This time of year especially is filled with many traditions and routines, along with thoughts about the changes we want to make in the New Year. My mom has always made the holidays extra-special with borderline excessive (but not at all tacky) decorations around her home, and this year she just wasn’t feeling it. When I suggested she could put up the tree up with a few accent pieces instead of doing the whole Winter Wonderland/Santa’s Workshop, she thought it was impossible — it had to be all or nothing.
I insisted it could be done and took some of the items she put in the same place every year and used them differently. She fought with me tooth and nail, until I proved they would indeed fit in spots she said they wouldn’t. The house looks festive and the mission was accomplished; it feels like a maximum amount of decor with minimal amount of effort! But it was her resistance to change and incredulity that several options and alternatives existed that were the hardest parts to tackle — she simply couldn’t see any other way than how she’s done it year after year.
Tradition can be a good thing, but it’s important to know when those traditions and routines are serving or restricting us. Sometimes you just gotta break the rules, think out of the box, do it “your way”. Where we would we be without the hundreds and thousands of rule-breakers both known and unknown, in every field — especially the arts, science, fashion and civil rights?
But the truth is that often our most fervent rules and regulations have been totally self-imposed, and/or are no longer necessary. It’s easy to get caught up in doing the same old thing just because that’s the way we’ve always done it. Sometimes we need a fresh eye, another brain, to look at the same situation and come up with a new solution, a new way of doing things that we couldn’t see because you were too close or it was too engrained in our psyche.
Wondering if change will serve you better than reinforcing the “rules” you have in place right now, or which walls need to come Tumblin Down and be replaced with some new Moves Like Jagger? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the law enforcement that looks the other way and the instructor that helps you create the right combination of funky steps you can dance to the beat of your own drum!
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Originally published on kristinaleonardi.com on November 29, 2011
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Kristina Leonardi is a nationally recognized career and life coach, speaker and author who for over 13 years has empowered individuals to make lasting professional and personal changes aligned with their true passions and talents while fulfilling their role in the world at large.With a holistic and personal growth-oriented approach, she has helped hundreds of men and women over the past decade improve their job performance, enter or re-enter the job force, change careers, better manage their time and stress, and live happier, more meaningful, balanced lives. Her specialty is working with people who feel stuck or are in transition and can help you clarify exactly what you want to do, identify blocks, issues, and patterns in your way, and offer proven ideas, resources, and action steps to get you there.
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