The Common Denominator
Navigating relationships of all kinds during these challenging times
“Hurt people hurt people” is a saying I think everyone should have at the forefront of their minds, especially during these evermore dystopian times, whether in your personal relationships with friends, family or significant other, with colleagues at work, or when experiencing or observing the world at large.
Right now there are so many additional stresses on people for a variety of reasons. So much within and around us is being brought to the surface for us to confront, being triggered by external circumstances and the transformative energies we are going through. Therefore, we need to be EXTRA understanding, patient, compassionate and loving with ourselves and others.
Another saying reminds us: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” We all have a multitude of influences that make us who we are and how we are behaving today. Unless we’ve done some deep inner work, and even if we have, we are messy humans and most people don’t handle pressure, pain, and/or fear with grace and equanimity, so it’s not pretty, to say the least!
In other words, try to take a breath and calm your reaction — or not react to the reaction of someone else or take it personally. If possible, talk it through and really LISTEN to yourself in order to communicate your truth effectively and/or be fully present so that you can actively listen and see things from the perspective of another.
We have to dig down more than ever to reveal and acknowledge our wounds — which are the sources of our triggers and reactions — and refrain from blaming, scapegoating or projecting onto others that which we ultimately need to heal within ourselves. Because if you’re honest with yourself and take responsibility for your own peace and happiness, remember that the common denominator in any relationship or situation — especially if it is a recurring one — is YOU.*
*For more thoughts on that, read my essay Wherever You Go, There You Are
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Kristina Leonardi is a nationally recognized career and life coach, speaker and author who for over 14 years has empowered individuals to make lasting professional and personal changes aligned with their true passions and talents while fulfilling their role in the world at large.With a holistic and personal growth-oriented approach, she has helped hundreds of men and women over the past decade improve their job performance, enter or re-enter the job force, change careers, better manage their time and stress, and live happier, more meaningful, balanced lives. Her specialty is working with people who feel stuck or are in transition and can help you clarify exactly what you want to do, identify blocks, issues, and patterns in your way, and offer proven ideas, resources, and action steps to get you there.
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