Validation Nation
The greatest gift you can give to the world is a healed life.~ Dr. Christiane Northrup
What is to give light must endure burning. ~ Viktor Frankl
Last month a white buffalo was born in Goshen, CT and its naming ceremony is taking place this week. This is a sacred and rare event in the Native American tradition, the significance of which varies in interpretation, but it’s auspicious nonetheless, and at the very least is yet another sign of the extraordinary times in which we live.
We’re at a point where we can no longer ignore the problems that on some level we’ve known all along we must address — whether climate change; the economy and our government; our physical, mental or emotional health; our relationships with ourselves, our family and our friends; or the gap between the fantasy of how we perceive our lives to be versus the reality of what they truly are. We must bring to light what is holding us back, stop living in denial or distraction, and take responsibility for our own happiness.
For many of us, our limitations are rooted in the infinite search for approval and the pain we feel when we don’t get it, especially from those closest to us. Our culture seems to have exploited this, whether you are singing in front of millions of people, walking on a red carpet, living in a literal or metaphoric glass house, or deemed worthy of receiving a rose from a bachelor or bachelorette — or more perversely, and often magnified by mental illness, strapping a bomb to yourself in a crowded area, becoming a despotic ruler or embodying a pseudo-character in a movie and committing mass murder, knowing the attention and infamy such an action will bring.
In this Time of the Season, who’s your daddy? Are you seeking approval from parents, friends, partners, bosses, the opposite sex, the same sex, Facebook likes, Twitter followers or the public at large? As comedienne Margaret Cho reminds us, we have to be ones that we want. We cannot be defined by others so let’s get honest, let’s get real with ourselves. Because when we choose to avoid delving into the deepest parts of ourselves, we turn to indulging or over-indulging in unhealthy relationships, food, TV, work, the Internet, gossip and bullying, drugs, sex, alcohol, video games, gambling, movies and so many other things to numb us. Instead of masking whatever feelings may be lurking beneath the surface, we need walk through the fire; there are no shortcuts. And remember, if you can’t feel the bad, that means you can’t feel the good either!
We are the only ones who can give meaning to our own lives, and we are constantly reminded of just how brief that life can be. We must dig deep within our souls to find the stuff we are made of and the things we must release in order to move forward, to heal our lives. We need to discover and then liberate ourselves from who or what is owning us by making us feel validated. That process may be uncomfortable, and yes, even painful. But in allowing yourself to go there, we can then leave there once and for all. Our country and the world are depending on it.
Need a little help Digging in the Dirt to open up the places you got hurt? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the support you need to tear up those roots and replant the seeds of healthy self-esteem that bloom just for you. Should you by chance attract an admirer or two, that’s simply a byproduct of bringing your own special brand of beauty to a world that so desperately needs it…
Originally published on www.kristinaleonardi.com July 24, 2012
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