When the Caterpillar Thought the World Was Over
You must meet the outer world with your inner world or existence will crush you. ~ Mark Nepo
In case you haven’t noticed, change is in the air! But just like the caterpillar who thought the world was over, we are all in various stages of transformation, both individually and collectively, and have no idea when or how we will eventually become that butterfly.
And once we’ve become the butterfly, that’s not even the end! We then have to use tremendous effort to emerge from the cocoon and learn to spread and flap our wings for the first time before we flit and flutter and finally greet the flowers with our beautiful new form.
It’s a deeply evolutionary process, one that takes time and can be more than a little uncomfortable and scary to say the least. And it requires patience. Most humans do not like change, are terrified of the unknown and, especially in the digital age, expect everything to happen in milliseconds — or within 24 hours at the most! And it is a feeling, not a thinking, experience that requires profound trust and faith.
But most people walk around emotionally constipated and without a connection to something greater than themselves. Hence the recent observation/discovery/revelation I’ve had about just how many people try to escape or avoid the process by numbing out via a variety of vices.
I’ve been learning about folks using things like alcohol, cannabis, regular smoking/vaping, along with other seemingly benign behaviors like Netflix and scrolling, or more accepted forms of distraction like overworking or over-exercising more often and in higher quantities than ever. There’s also sex, video games, shopping, food, the list goes on. We all have our emotional crutch or addiction in one form or another, whether we are aware of it or not.
This is not to say that any of these things in conscious moderation are bad at all, but after finding out how much a neighbor regularly drinks, learning how often clients or friends smoke or use gummies, and watching the proliferation of cannabis stores in Manhattan (one I saw people lining up for!), it hit me: Houston, the problem is bigger than we realize.
All of that is to say, it’s hard for us humans out here in this cuckoo-for-Cocoa Puffs world, and it’s even harder inside with the amount of emotions, trauma and issues being triggered and coming up for healing. It’s understandable that so many folks are distracting, numbing and escaping this reality in one way or another. And sure, we all need a little of that now and then to exist in this nuthouse of a planet, especially through times like these — no judgement at all!
But I’d like to offer this essay as a little moment for you to stop and reflect on how much you might be trying to avoid the thing that will bring you from one chapter to the next in your transformation process, or more simply put, advancing in your career, life, relationships and well-being.
How are you being distracted from looking within? How often are you actually in your body? Do you allow yourself to feel your feels? How many hours are you losing to mindless activities like scrolling social media or watching TV? It takes courage and some discomfort to look at yourself and summon the fortitude and perseverance to change, but it’s the only way to progress. Because as the saying goes, there is no way around, only through.
And going through is the only way to become stronger and wiser. Because if not now, when? If you are not here to grow, heal, progress, serve and love, then what is the point? LOVE is the glue that holds it all together and is paramount, but if you are constantly avoiding/distracting/numbing/escaping, you can’t feel and experience it, especially the love for yourself, which is the fuel you need to do all else.
So let’s take another moment now to think about nourishing your soul. Instead of reaching for that drink, gummy, donut or Amazon app, what else can feed you? Perhaps a song, a stretch, a walk in nature? Do a little meditation or mindfulness practice. Listen to silence or have a good cry. Maybe call — not text — a friend for a chat about what’s really going on with you. What healthy habits can you swap out for the unhealthy excesses so that you can be more firmly integrated within your body, rather than scattered or focused outside of it?
The important thing is to remember that it IS a process and there IS light at the end of the tunnel, as dim or as far off as that might seem.
The more you can be in your body, the better able you will be to allow things to unfold organically, one day, one step at a time, knowing that — just like your heartbeat — you are being animated, directed and supported by something greater than yourself. You only need to commit, trust, and allow it to happen, in time and on time.
And, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, find the grace and gratitude in it all.
(Originally published as a PGG newsletter on November 22, 2024.)
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If you’d like a compassionate companion and guide in your transformation, consider taking advantage of my new Essential Evolution Package, a longer, more in-depth engagement to support your personal growth process. (Use promo code EVOLVE10 for 10% off when purchased now through 12/31.) For all the current options to work with me, visit my website.
It’s always been easier for my clients to describe what I do, and this review, along with others you can find on my LinkedIn profile, seems to capture it well:
Kristina is more than a career coach. She changed my life. She made me realize how disconnected I was with my inner-self and how that was a root cause of many issues I faced, including my career. I have spoken to a number of professionals and career coaches, but Kristina is the one who truly helped me get unstuck and re-evaluate my values. Her recommendations were vital and enabled me to reorient my life. I am so grateful that I had a chance to work with Kristina — book a session with her to rediscover your life and career! ~ Esther J.
The bottom line is if you are feeling stuck, out of balance and/or looking for a new direction in your career and life and need to discern the next steps, my work as a holistic career coach and personal growth expert can help in many different forms. Just reach out! And use promo code GIFT for a $50 discount on any service over $200.
Looking for more unique, meaningful unique positive vibe gift ideas? Consider purchasing a coaching package or my book Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower Your Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul.
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Kristina Leonardi is a nationally recognized career and life coach, speaker and author who for over 17 years has empowered individuals to make lasting professional and personal changes aligned with their true passions and talents while fulfilling their role in the world at large.
With a holistic and personal growth-oriented approach, she has helped hundreds of men and women improve their job performance, enter or re-enter the job force, change careers, better manage their time and stress, and live happier, more meaningful, balanced lives.
Her specialty is working with people who feel stuck or are in transition and can help you clarify exactly what you want to do, identify blocks, issues, and patterns in your way, and offer proven ideas, resources, and action steps to get you there.
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15 Candles |All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself
